The signal
Missed commitments, reactive feedback from peers, declining code quality, withdrawal from team discussions. You've felt it for at least a month.
What it really means
Either the role, the context, or the support has stopped working for them. Your job is to name it clearly and find out which one — fast.
Your first response
Schedule a dedicated conversation. Don't slip it into a 1:1. Be specific, kind, and unambiguous about what's not working.
The Playbook
1. Get specific before the conversation
- Write down 3-5 concrete examples with dates. No generalities.
- Separate behavior from interpretation: what happened vs what you concluded.
- Identify what good would look like in the next 30, 60, 90 days.
2. Have the conversation directly
- Open with the gap, not small talk. Don't bury the lede.
- Share specifics, then stop talking. Let them respond.
- Ask what they see, what's getting in the way, and what support would help.
3. Agree on a plan in writing
- Define expectations, support, check-in cadence, and timeline.
- Decide together whether this is coaching, a formal PIP, or a role-fit conversation.
- Document the same day. Send it. No surprises later.
4. Hold the line
The kindest thing is clarity. Don't soften the goalposts. If the plan fails, move to the next step quickly — for them as much as for the team.
Things you can actually say
“I want to use this time to talk about a gap I'm seeing between where your work is and where I need it to be. I should have raised this sooner. Let me share what I'm seeing, and then I want to hear how it looks from your side.”
“I hear that you see it differently. Let's look at the specifics together. My job is to be clear with you about the bar, and to give you a real chance to meet it.”
What to avoid
- — Hinting, softening, or stacking compliments around the message.
- — Springing a PIP without prior direct conversations.
- — Comparing them to peers in the conversation.
- — Sharing the situation with the team — even indirectly.
The follow-through
- Weekly check-ins with written notes on progress against the plan.
- Make decisions on a defined date, not when it "feels right."
- If they exit, debrief honestly with HR about what you could have done sooner.